I had to drop this since I heard the Politics of Hair Carnival was going down over at the TRUTH. I kinda hit off on this awhile back, Febuary I think it was, right before I was about to head to DC on some bidness. Anyways here's my story.
It was our second trip to the east coast as a family in less than 5 years, I didnt know all the reasons behind the moves but I did know one thing, I still had my "Bush" and I knew them lil DC niggas was gonna be clownin on my ass the moment I stepped off the bus, hell somma them bitches was gonna have jokes on the bus. The whole drive across the states I was obsessing over the fact that my Cali-Curl- Mini-Fro Circa 1982-83 was about to recieve some serious scrutiny (part 2), and it seemed like I was the only person in my family who gave a shit. Moms was still rolling with the "no fly zone" on the head so anything short of Dwayne from "whats happening" was out of the question. I dont know If you truly understand hair politics (especially DC early 80's hair) but this was the equivalent of wearing a swastika to a barmiztvha, niggas was gonna be on yo shit INSTANTLY!!
I remember rolling up to my school the first couple days, shit was quiet I guess niggas was feeling me out but I knew that shit was coming... you see my gear was ok so I was spared from the usual "Jonnin" (pronounced Joan-ing) but it was only a matter of time until some punk ass fresh off a defeat in front of the homies was gonna bust out with the "bush" jokes. And for the most part I held my own, I stayed away from groups, and avoided the funny niggas like the plague. So my middle school years spent in Landover MD, were ok I guess, if you wanna call lurking through the hall ways avoiding social contact cool, then ok, shit was fine. I guess for some reason Largo niggas was cool with the bush, that even became my nick name. "The Lil nigga with the bush". As long as I was in familiar territory cats would spare me the beat down and limit the "Bush" jokes to a minimum.
I remember a trip to the smithsonian with Mom's and some of my homies, Matt a lil white cat who could Pop Lock his ass off, and Jerald the chunkyass smartalec. The night before our trip I was starting to get that paraniod "Hair feeling" because I was going to DC. DC was like one big giant ghetto fairytale. That shit was the ultimate ghetto test, if you could hang in DC you had some real cred, cuz DC niggas didnt play. You always heard some kind of Ghetto Fabulous legendary shit about DC, hell you woulda thought niggas was ten feet tall up in that bitch. So my terriffied Berkeley -Landover ass was gonna do some preventive measures on the head real quick. So after everyone went to sleep I snuck into the bathroom and went for the razor... Since the clipper woulda been way too loud and the scissoirs were usless in my situation, I figured the razor would be my best course of action. So after an hour or so of some serious dry shaving I had what I thought was a pretty good fade. You see the fade was was a modified position of the "bush" meaning you had hair on the top of your head but not on the sides, this was some pre kid and play shit, pre heavy D square ass fade looking nigga. DC Fades or "Phillies" as they were called was some real pimp shit. I'll say one thing for DC them cats they was up on their hair game way before everyone else. I went to bed feeling relieved and knew that them DC niggas wasnt gonna be clowing on my ass. Needless to say the next morning Moms was pist!!!! She was not feeling the hairstyle one bit, my Dad just laughed and grabbed my head and inspected it up close then laughed his ass off again even louder than the first time, but I didnt care at least them DC fools werent gonna be clowing me! I could tell Moms was sad cause she was really proud of my hair, she always said said "why you wanna be like all the bald heads? Your hair is beautiful" but I wasnt trying to here that shit in no kinda way and woulda opted for the first free hair cut I coulda got for my lil ass had I the opportunity. With that we left for the museum and what I thought was cool happened to be jacked the fuck up...
So We were on the Metro and after a few stops we passed into DC and I was like ok shits not that bad, when all of the sudden the doors opened up on the train and some "Real DC Niggas" got on (theme music here). it took about 3.2 seconds for the first cat to bust out and say check out lil dude with Air force ones (jerald), yeah and check out the "bama ass nigga with the fucked up fade". I could have sworn the whole train busted out laughing. This cat was like dave chappelle in the nutty professor on my ass (you remember reggie) he was going to town, "That cats fade look like the barber took a break and never came back" now usually Moms would drop the glaring adult look and that would suffice (back then black moms had heat, they still do, but back then any moms could freeze yo ass up at anytime, anywhere, and you best act like you know) but Moms didnt even look in my direction, no assist, no nuthin, you fucked your head up, you deal with it... (now mind you my moms has never spoken a curse word in all, ALL of the years I have been around but I know she was cussing my stupid ass out in her mind!) After about three or four stops my tormentors resigned to deeper darker areas of DC and got off, and we continued on to the museum where after a few smart ass comments from fat ass jerald he asked "why did you do your hair like that?" and my mom was like yes why did you do your hair like that? So I said I didnt want the DC kids to make fun of me, and Moms was like "well I guess that didnt work" and we all had to laugh at that one...
Hair is deep,
this some ol 1990 swap meet T-shirt "Its a black thing you wouldnt understand" type shit. Its a bane, its a banner, its a painting by Henry O. Tanner. Jigga what Jigga who, I aint no nappy head jigga bo. Shits like this twist the soul, make a nigga wish he was creole... But dont cry, just go get you sum dat lye, let ya head fry, then a nigga be SOOPAFLY.
Hair is deep...
Nuff said, ya'll know the rest.